Figures that today I'd miss him. But I know that this is the right thing. This is why I cried.
This is why i cried on that bench next to him. The writing was on the wall that this was it. It occured to me that this was the last time i'd see his face and this was the last time I would sit around with him basking in what was the afterglow of a day spent together (did that make sense?) But the afterglow wasnt even there that last time.
It rained that day.
I had a dream about all of them this morning, it brought everything to the front.
I thought I was happier, and I think I might be. School is great. I love being around all these different people, all new to me. I've made a few new friends as well, I've even been asked out (by an eighth grader that looks like harry potter...except younger...acts younger...he's like the gay guy friend that I never had as well.)
..so i suppose that doesnt count.
point is: that I like my life now. It's not too bad. I am definately living without Jon, and im not dying inside like I always had in previous attempts to go my separate way.
I am just okay though.
I miss Ira as well. Really do. I wrote her a letter in study hall the other day, but I know she'll never read it.
Oh how i love those letters.
I could write a million.